It's been a long, long time.

There is dog poop EVERYWHERE. I am continually amazed by my newfound ability (one could say superpower) to text, walk, and avoid the omnipresent caca all en même temps. This, my friends, is a cultural adjustment in it's most basic and stinky form.

I should probably follow my poop talk with a heartfelt apology. So, here it goes: I apologize to the world for living under, and maybe even in (because it's that serious), a rock more recently. My week-long, fall vacation s'appelle La Toussaint ended on Sunday. Over the course of several days, I visited both Paris and Strasbourg in the company of old and new friends and acquaintances. While packing for my trip, I made the last minute decision to leave my safety blanket, my computer, behind. While I can't say that I regret my decision, I am aware that it compounded my already poor performance in the "keeping in touch" department. One of my current goals is to try to honor the relationships that I have chosen to bring with me. I need chu people - in a healthy, non-codependent way, that is.

La Toussaint:

My vacation was a little more dramatic than I had anticipated, but most of that has come to an end now that I have broken up with my boyfriend of a month, Julien. No regrets. It's funny how people's reactions can tell you a lot about their personalities and how they can often serve to confirm your decisions.

Highlights of our relationship and examples of how it is ever-so-easy to get lost in translation when you and your partner don't speak the same language:

• Telling Julien I found him attractive and having him respond, "Jessica, I am not a woman," because I made the wrong accord. (Attirante is for a woman; attirant, for a man. Never will I ever forget.)
• Trying to explain the meaning of "suave," then being asked by Julien if it applied to him. "Ummm... No, not really. You're more of a nerd." Because I wasn't able to clarify the definition, he later took the liberty to google "nerd" during a meeting. When he came back, he asked, with a look of horror on his face, "YOU FIND STEVE URKEL ATTRACTIVE? WAIT. YOU THINK I LOOK LIKE STEVE URKEL?" Yes, Julien, I do. Steve Urkel makes me super-duper randy. He doesn't have the same affect on you? No, I am sorry. You don't look like Steve Urkel (and that is the real reason why we broke up). 
• Having to explain that "I love you" means a lot in the U.S. and that his telling me he loved me on our first date was, in my opinion, an insult. -- This one never really got through, but somethings never do. I can say without a doubt that this is going to be one of those long breakups, where I have to continue to clarify my already very clear stance. Oh well. Shit happens (everywhere in Clermont). 

But it's okay, because I have found love in a cute café-lecture called Les Augustes. Any man or woman is going to have to step up his or her game in order to compete for my affection. For the moment, I find that's better. Celibataire is the best way to fare - a more recent discovery. Thank you, La Toussaint.

Final two points:

1. A poor photocopy of Girl with a Pearl Earring (in which she looks like she just had her wisdom teeth removed) that I made for my art class :

2. Speaking of love: I am going to have to learn to feel some for myself real soon. Why? Because my host mom tells me that I need to lose weight on a daily basis. News flash: nothing has changed. I look the same as I did last year. Oh well! There's nothing too terrible about tough skin - good thing, because I am going to have it by the end of the year. Side note - I am eating a really big bar of chocolate right now. Can't stop, won't stop. Such a rebel.

Xoxo,
Gossip Gir... I mean, J Farms!